Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
