People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
