There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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