Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
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