I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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