Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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