So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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