OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just had sex bonerless
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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