Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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