I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
