Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
