okay pat passed out under dana's car
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
