Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
