Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
