And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
