WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
tell me about the eggs
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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