Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
