i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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