So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
