we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
