She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
