what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
