i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
