I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
worst night to have a conscience
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
