we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
