i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
should my penis look like a turkey
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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