smell my finger.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
