I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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