Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
