How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
