Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
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