Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
