Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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