i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
