your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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