I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
