Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
