Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
