i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
