Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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