fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
