u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
