im about as happy as oj after his trial
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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