After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
