This girl is more easily done than said...
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
