Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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