I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
