Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's never too late to be topless.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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