how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
All the doctor said was why
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
