Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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