It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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