If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
