You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
