1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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