I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
