I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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