I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
