My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
