Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Text me some of your sweat
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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