i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
